Full divorce settlement
The complete picture in one process—parenting, property, finances, and the practical logistics of separating two lives—resolved together and written up as a single, coherent agreement.
Divorce & Family Mediation
End the marriage. Don’t end up at war.
Mediation gives you a private, respectful way to settle the things that matter most—your children, your home, your finances—without handing those decisions to a courtroom. I’m here to help you make them together.
Mediation is the room where both people still get to be heard.
Why mediation
Why people choose mediation over court
Litigation puts your future in a stranger’s hands and bills you for the privilege. Mediation does the opposite: it keeps the decisions—and the money—with the two people who actually have to live with them.
You stay in controlNo judge deciding who gets the house or how holidays with the kids are split. You and your partner make the calls, with me keeping things fair and on track.
It costs a fraction of courtA contested divorce can run into tens of thousands per side. Mediation is typically a small share of that—and far quicker, which is its own kind of savings.
It’s privateCourt is a matter of public record. What’s said in mediation stays in the room. No airing of grievances in front of an audience.
It’s easier on the kidsChildren feel the temperature of a separation. A cooperative process protects them from the crossfire and models the co-parenting you’ll be doing for years.
It’s fasterMost couples reach a full agreement in a handful of sessions over weeks—not the months or years a litigated case can drag on.
It preserves the relationship you’ll still haveIf you share children, you’re not really saying goodbye. Mediation helps you part as people who can still sit at the same table.
What people carry in
The fears you walk in with are the ones I hear most.
“We can’t even be in the same room.”
Then we won’t force it. Many couples sit together and find it helps; others work from separate rooms while I move between them. Whatever lets you both think clearly and speak honestly is the right setup.
“I’m afraid of what this is doing to the children.”
So is nearly everyone who sits down with me. A calm, cooperative process is the single biggest thing you can do to protect them—and it’s the whole point of the way I work.
“What if we don’t agree on everything?”
You don’t have to. We’ll settle what we can and narrow what’s left to something small and specific. You’re never locked in, and disagreement isn’t failure.
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
That’s exactly what the first call is for. You bring the worry; I’ll bring the map. We’ll figure out the first step together, and there’s no charge for finding out.
How this works
From first call to signed agreement
No mystery, no maze. Here’s exactly how the process unfolds—at a pace that works for both of you.
-
A free, no-pressure call
We talk for 20–30 minutes about your situation and whether mediation is the right fit. No commitment, no charge, no judgment. If I’m not the right person to help, I’ll tell you and point you somewhere better.
-
Getting the full picture
Together we map out what needs deciding—parenting, property, finances, the timeline—and gather the documents you’ll both need. Everyone starts on the same page, with the same facts.
-
Working through it, session by session
In a series of structured conversations, we tackle each issue in turn. I keep things balanced and constructive, ask the questions that need asking, and help you find solutions you can each genuinely accept.
-
Putting it in writing
Once you’ve reached agreement, I prepare a clear written summary—a Memorandum of Understanding—that captures every decision so there’s no ambiguity later.
-
Making it official
You each take that document to your own independent lawyer for review, where it can become a binding legal agreement and be filed with the court. You leave with clarity, on paper, and a way forward you built yourselves.
What I can help you settle
One mediator, the whole picture
Parenting & custody plans
Schedules, holidays, schooling, decision-making, and how you’ll handle the things you can’t predict yet. A workable plan built around your children, not against each other.
Property & financial division
Dividing the home, savings, pensions, debts, and assets fairly and transparently—with the full financial picture on the table so both of you can decide with confidence.
Separation agreements
For couples stepping back before, or instead of, a formal divorce. We set clear terms for living arrangements, finances, and children while you decide what’s next.
Post-divorce modifications
Life moves on—incomes change, children grow, people relocate. When an existing arrangement no longer fits, we revisit and update it without going back to court.
Prenup & cohabitation conversations
Honest, unrushed discussions for couples moving in together or marrying, so you can agree how things would work—calmly, and long before anyone needs the answer.
The person across the table
Hi, I’m Rob.
I’ve spent the last sixteen years sitting between people on the hardest days of their lives—and watching them find their way to an agreement they can both live with. I came to this work after years inside the family court system, where I saw too many couples spend money they didn’t have to win fights that left everyone, especially the children, worse off. I knew there had to be a better way. Mediation is it.
I’m not here to judge your marriage. I’m here to help you write its ending—and your next chapter—on your own terms.
My job isn’t to take sides or decide who’s right. It’s to keep the conversation honest, fair, and moving forward—to make sure both of you are heard, that nothing important gets lost, and that the decisions you reach are genuinely yours. I’ll be calm when things get hard, patient when they get slow, and straight with you the whole way through.
Divorce is an ending, but it’s also the start of whatever comes next—co-parenting, a new home, a different shape of family. I’d consider it a privilege to help you get there with your dignity, your finances, and your relationships as intact as they can be.
- Accredited Family Mediator — 16+ years of practice
- Member, National Association of Family & Divorce Mediators
- Trained in Child-Inclusive Mediation and high-conflict facilitation
- Former family-law attorney · State Bar member
- 80+ hours of approved mediation training and ongoing professional development
In their words
What people say afterward
We came in barely able to be in the same room and left with a parenting plan we both actually believed in. Rob never took sides, never rushed us, and somehow kept us talking when we wanted to give up. It saved our kids from a year of watching us fight.
I was braced for a brutal, expensive divorce. Instead we sorted the house, the finances, and the schedule in four sessions. Calm, clear, and a third of what my friends paid going to court.
What I’ll remember is feeling heard. Rob asked the questions that mattered and let us find our own answers. We’re not friends now, but we can co-parent—and that’s everything.
Before you call
Questions people usually have
How much does mediation cost?
Far less than a contested divorce—typically a fraction of what two opposing lawyers would bill. I charge a clear hourly or per-session rate that we agree upfront, with no surprises. Because you share one mediator instead of paying two legal teams to fight, the savings are usually substantial. We’ll talk specifics on our intro call.
How long does it take?
Most couples reach a full agreement in roughly three to six sessions over a few weeks or months, depending on how complex things are and how ready you both feel. That’s a different universe from litigation, which can stretch on for a year or more.
Do we still need lawyers?
I’m not your lawyer, and I don’t give either of you legal advice—that’s deliberate, so I can stay neutral. I do recommend you each have your own independent lawyer review the final agreement before signing, so you both know exactly what you’re agreeing to. Many people consult a lawyer once or twice rather than retaining one for the whole fight.
Is the agreement legally binding?
The written summary I prepare isn’t a court order on its own. But once your independent lawyers review it and it’s formalized and filed with the court, it becomes a binding legal agreement. In other words: mediation gets you to a clear, mutual agreement, and the legal step makes it enforceable.
What if we can’t agree on everything?
That’s normal, and it doesn’t mean failure. We often resolve most issues in mediation and narrow any remaining ones down to something small and specific—which is far cheaper and less painful to sort out elsewhere. You’re never locked in; you can pause or step away at any point.
Is everything confidential?
Yes. Unlike court, which is a public record, what’s discussed in mediation stays private. The conversations are confidential and generally can’t be used against either of you later. The only standard exceptions are concerns about someone’s safety, which I’ll always be upfront with you about.
Do we have to be in the same room?
Not if that doesn’t feel right. Many couples sit together and find it helpful, but if being in the same room is too difficult, I can keep you in separate rooms (or on separate video calls) and move between you. Whatever lets you both think clearly and speak honestly is the right setup.
Start here
Let’s start with a conversation
There’s no commitment in reaching out—just a quiet, honest talk about where you are and whether mediation could help. You can call together or on your own, ask anything you like, and decide afterward. Most people tell me they wish they’d made this call sooner. When you’re ready, I’m here.
Every conversation is completely confidential and carries no obligation. Reaching out doesn’t commit you to anything—it just opens a door.
- In-person sessions in [Your City] — and by secure video, wherever you are.
- Email hello@robandersmediation.com
- Call (555) 012-3456 — the first conversation is free.